Never said I was good, just that I can be the Italy of WW2 and be a major factor in the game.

Talk all you want about Defense of the Ancients here.
Sylvanas
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Never said I was good, just that I can be the Italy of WW2 and be a major factor in the game.

Postby Sylvanas » Sat Apr 20, 2019 12:02 am

THE AXIS

Nazi Germany: A very strong player, however he's widely known to be a dick to pretty much everyone else and constantly yells racist shit in caps lock, so people always end up stacking against him. He decisively wins mid and gets a very strong early game. He chooses to go for an early win, but his retarded allies are making it impossible for him and he eventually ragequits.

Italy: He keeps talking about how he used to be really good and has beaten every other player in the game in the past when he used a different account name, but as far as everyone can tell, he sucks ass and does nothing useful all game. He is first to give up.

Empire of Japan: He could be a decent player if he learned to listen to his teammates, but instead he's always fucking around on the opposite side of the map every time there's a battle going on. He eventually ends up losing the game for his team by initiating a catastrophic fight. He ends up staying even after his whole team quit, feeding USA over and over.


THE ALLIES

France: He was a solid player in the previous game, so he was allowed to be mid. This turned out to be a huge mistake, as he failed really badly due to lack of vision and never really recovered.

UK: The team's self-proclaimed leader, he tries to plan fights with mixed success. He mostly focuses on disabling and slowing down Germany.

Russia: Due to France badly losing mid, he was killed a bunch of times by Germany and had a rough start, but he made a big comeback very soon after. He tanks most of the damage in fights, allowing his team to win them and push forward. For some reason, as the game progresses, he's becoming more and more of a dick.

USA: Spends 75% of the game farming. When he finally starts to help, his team wins easily. All his teammates are complaining they could have won way earlier if he fucking helped, while he likes to claim he won all by himself. He ends up buying 2 rapiers and fountain farming Japan with them.

China: He has no idea what he's doing and doesn't speak a word of English. He spends the whole game with 3 radiance recipes in his inventory and gets relentlessly farmed by Japan with dagon. To this day, Japan still denies any of this happened.


NEUTRAL

Polroshan: He's a big purple bro standing in the middle of everyone, just minding his own business. Germany and Russia take turns kicking his ass for bonus resources, as they've done for generations.
Last edited by Sylvanas on Sat Apr 20, 2019 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
These users thanked the author Sylvanas for the post (total 5):
kunkka (Sun Apr 21, 2019 6:50 pm) • dontbhatting (Sat Apr 20, 2019 10:15 pm) • Edgeofchaos (Sat Apr 20, 2019 5:25 am) • Astros (Sat Apr 20, 2019 5:20 am) • Panopticon (Sat Apr 20, 2019 12:33 am)

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Panopticon
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Re: Never said I was good, just that I can be the Italy of WW2 and be a major factor in the game.

Postby Panopticon » Sat Apr 20, 2019 12:33 am

Sounds about right in a nutshell.
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Re: Never said I was good, just that I can be the Italy of WW2 and be a major factor in the game.

Postby Astros » Sat Apr 20, 2019 5:20 am

I'll give you a 1/10 because I didn't see any weird and random metaphors being used.
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Re: Never said I was good, just that I can be the Italy of WW2 and be a major factor in the game.

Postby kunkka » Sun Apr 21, 2019 6:52 pm

Japan[k:d]?


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